This picture, was taken by my Father, Thomas A. Goetz in 1968, it captures the way our airport first looked. My Father was hired to be the control tower manager and one of the controllers at the airport. He and a few other bold men in our community are responsible for keeping our airport open and operating in the 80’s when the government was going to close it. My Father moved our family to Owensboro, KY in 1968. Airports always remind me of my Father, I have the sweetest memories of walking to the airport from our home in Thoroughbred Acres. I couldn’t wait to climb those spiral stairs that led up to where my Father was sitting. The smell of his pipe filled the atmosphere and I still smell him at times!
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Fathers’ Day weekend can be emotional for many of us. My Father, Thomas A. Goetz who adopted me at 6 weeks old from Catholic Charities passed away on my 7th Wedding Anniversary March 24, 2003. I miss him often and think of him every time I smell a pipe. My biological Father lives in Alaska and does not want to meet me. I cannot imagine not wanting to meet your own daughter. This column that I wrote for the newspaper has helped with inner healing. I pray it helps you!
A father’s role is to protect, to provide, to bless, and to establish his children’s identity. Maybe your father did that for you; maybe he didn’t. Perhaps he abandoned you, or abused you: sexually, physically, verbally or emotionally. Maybe he died before you were ready, or left you for some other reason. Maybe he made you his pet, delighting in you so much that you haven’t been able to break away to be your own person. Perhaps he was distant, removed and showed no interest in you. Or he terrified you with his anger and rage. Perhaps he made you the scapegoat for all his troubles, so that you suffered for things other people did to him. Perhaps he blamed you for things that were not your fault at all. Maybe he worked too much or played too hard and never spent time with you. He missed your ball games, dance recitals and spelling bees. Maybe he spent too much time with you forcing you to become the athlete or student or doctor or lawyer you never wanted to be. Perhaps he left you in the care of hurtful, dangerous people. Maybe he didn’t see or believe you when you went to him for help. Perhaps he was just too preoccupied with himself to see anything you wanted or needed then.
If you can relate to one of these, or know someone who can, lift up this prayer and experience a blessing.
I ask your Heavenly Father to richly bless you in all the places I failed to bless you.
I ask the Lord Jesus Christ by the power of His Cross and Blood to set you free now from any harsh or cruel words that I said, especially the ones you keep remembering over and over. I am so sorry.
I ask the Holy Spirit to set you free from: heartache, disappointments, dreads, grief or rage you cannot resolve.
And I’m so sorry for any other struggles I may have caused you. May you be healed from being ignored or overindulged by me.
If I ever made you feel less than or not good enough I am deeply sorry and ask you to please forgive me.
May the Lord set you free from working so hard to please me when nothing ever would. May the Lord set you free from trying to get from me what I never had to give you.
May the Lord set you free from blaming me for failing you, not because I need that, but so you can be free to grow, to receive and to achieve. To be creative in ways you have not yet imagined. May the Lord give you all the things I was unable or unwilling to give.
May the Lord guide you in ways I never could and grant you peace. May the Lord free you from the effects of my addictions, anxieties and my anger. May the Lord free you from the feeling that you have to always be perfect or that you have to be what I expected you to be. I pray that God will help you to see that the pain and hurt I caused you came from my own childhood. It limited me, and I am so sorry if it has limited you.
I pray that God will remove any belief that you were not wanted or loved. I pray that you have no doubt that you are the gender you are supposed to be. I pray that the Lord will release you from any unhealthy bond that you may have with me. I want you to keep all of the good that came from me and give the garbage to God.
My beloved son, my precious daughter, I love you. I am so proud of you. I am so glad you were born. Take flight and soar into the heights of God’s destiny for you. Fly free and live!
As we embark on this Father’s Day Week, let us be mindful and in prayer for the next generation of fathers. Their dedication to God will restore our nation. Proverbs 20:7 reminds “Children are fortunate if they have a father who is honest and does what is right.” Not just the children, but the nation too.
Finally, for the children suffering, and the fathers wallowing in guilt, “May God’s healing start today.” Amen.
Theresa Rowe is the Founder of Shaped by Faith, Author of Guideposts’ Shaped by Faith, 10 Secrets to Strengthening Your Body and Soul, a Motivational Wellness Speaker, and Host of Shaped by Faith Radio every Friday, Saturday and Sunday at 8:00 am on 99.1 FM and 1490 AM WOMI.https://www.shapedbyfaith.com/