“Make allowance for each other’s faults and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.” Colossians 3:13 (NLT)
During this season of celebration and togetherness, many people also feel the weight of broken relationships, unresolved hurts, and the ache of those who are missing from our lives. As we prepare our homes for the season, God invites us to prepare our hearts as well. Sometimes that preparation begins with a difficult, often uncomfortable step: forgiving even when we don’t want to.
Forgiveness is a word we love in theory, but it becomes a spiritual workout when applied to real people who have hurt us deeply. Jesus made it clear that forgiveness is not optional for His followers. When Peter asked Him, “How many times should I forgive? Seven times?” Jesus replied, “No, seventy times seven” (Matthew 18:21–22). In other words, forgive as a way of life.
That sounds beautiful until it becomes personal.
Years ago, I walked through a heartbreak I never saw coming. I had friendships that lasted for decades, relationships filled with memories, shared seasons, and deep trust. Then suddenly and without explanation, those friendships dissolved. Messages stopped. Invitations disappeared. The silence was painful.
Rejection is a weapon the enemy uses to steal our joy and damage our identity. But Scripture reminds us that we are not defined by who walked away. We are defined by the One who promised, “I will never leave you nor forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5).
I replayed conversations in my mind, searching for what I had done wrong. I examined my heart and my intentions. I prayed. I cried. I asked God to show me if I had failed these friends or missed their needs. I still didn’t understand why they chose to step away, but I did understand the depth of the wounds left behind. Rejection, especially from those who once felt like family, hurts in a way few things can.
During that painful season, the Holy Spirit gently led me to a question I did not want to face: Will you forgive them even though you don’t want to?
Forgiveness felt unfair. It felt one-sided. It felt impossible.
But God’s Word broke through the confusion: “Search me, O God, and know my heart. Test me and know my anxious thoughts” (Psalm 139:23). As I prayed this scripture, the Lord began exposing areas in my own heart where I needed His grace. Maybe I was not the friend they needed in that season. Maybe I missed signs, misunderstood their pain, or failed to show up in ways I did not realize. I was not perfect. I had blind spots. And even if I was not responsible for their decision, I could still choose humility, compassion, and forgiveness.
Forgiveness did not come instantly. It came through honesty with God, releasing my expectations, and praying blessings over those who hurt me. I asked God to soften my heart, to lift the resentment, and to heal the places rejection had settled. It took time, but peace eventually came. And that peace did not depend on restored relationships. It depended on a restored heart.
Proverbs tells us, “A heart at peace gives life to the body” (Proverbs 14:30). Forgiveness is the pathway to that peace.
As the season continues, I have been thinking about how forgiveness mirrors fitness. There are days when stretching tight muscles feels uncomfortable, but that stretch is exactly what brings healing. A tight heart is like a tight muscle. It restricts movement, blocks joy and stiffens our spiritual posture. Forgiveness is the stretch that releases what is bound so God can restore what has been broken.
Sometimes forgiveness happens in layers. Sometimes it involves blessing someone who hurt you. Sometimes it’s just releasing the need to understand what happened. Sometimes it is simply praying, “Lord, examine my heart. Help me forgive, even when I do not feel like it.”
Romans 12:18 reminds us, “Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.” Not because everyone will respond the same way, but because Christ calls us to walk in His peace.
And His peace is worth protecting.
As we reflect on the birth of Christ, may we remember that He came to bring peace on earth, but also peace within us. The Prince of Peace longs to birth something new in our hearts this season: healing, wholeness, forgiveness, and the ability to love even when it hurts.
If you find yourself thinking of someone who hurt you, someone who walked away, or someone who no longer sits at your table, let the Holy Spirit lead you gently. You do not have to feel forgiveness to begin offering it. Forgiveness begins with willingness.
Let Christ soften your heart. Let Him free you from the weight of resentment. Let Him heal the places still tender from the wound. Let Him birth peace within you, the kind of peace that no circumstance, no person, and no past moment can ever take away.
This is the miracle of Christ. He still brings life, love, and peace to every heart that welcomes Him.
Forgiveness is real faith coming to fruition in your heart.